Home // Laugh Damnit! // Rockstar Radio™ Presents “The Greatest Mix To Intercourse To” PT 2 (The One Night Stand)

Rockstar Radio™ Presents “The Greatest Mix To Intercourse To” PT 2 (The One Night Stand)

Now that we have covered the importance of the “Intercourse Mix”, and how each  sexual situation calls for a different approach, lets touch on one of my favorite examples. The One Night Stand.

If you have never had yourself a one night stand, then you my friend are missing out. There are no strings attached, no preconceived notions of a relationship, no guilt, and hopefully a very small bar tab. You are both are there for one thing: Fun sex!

Now, contrary to popular belief, I haven’t had many one night stands. The last time it happened I woke up in a sorority house and the girl was trying to rush me out as I was passing by half naked chicks at 7 a.m. I thought “well it probably isn’t going to get better than this” so I kinda stop chasing the one night stand. The only thing I regret about that night, is not having this bitchin mix!

THE GREATEST MIX TO INTERCOURSE TO PT 2

Sexual Situation: The one night stand. (A quickie with your best friends mom or sister will also work)

Best if used after: A breakup with your long time girl/boy friend and a couple of Jager bombs.

 

Sextion 1: Get Naked And Knock Shit Over

-This is where you both know you are going to lock pissers, and it’s going to be awesome. Don’t waste any goddamn time. Get naked and clear a space on the desk/floor/counter/boss’s BMW

1. Def Leppard, Pour Some Sugar On Me (Fuck ya you’re gonna start off this Poon Fest with some Def Lep! It’s gotta be fun and loud to get it going. This track sets the tone for what’s about to come… Pun intended)

2. Kutt Calhoun, Bunk Rock Bitch (It’s a perfect rock/rap mix that chicks really dig. And by “really dig” I mean strippers love it, so will this random night vixen you picked up)

3. My Darkest Days, Casual Sex (Do I really need to write an explanation here?)

4. Notorious B.I.G, Hypnotize (Hopefully this will back her off from the action and give a lapdance or some sort of show. This is good because you want a one night stand to last, if you get my drift? Chicks love to do dumb shit to Biggie, like sing or talk. Just go with it.)

 

Sextion 2: Switch Gears And Postions 

-You don’t want this magical one time deal to be another walk in the park. This is your chance to do and say some real freaky shit! Let the music guide you, and remember your safety word.

5. Mickey Avalon, Stroke Me (If anyone can make the original any dirtier, it’s Micky Avalon. This track was made for humpin)

6. Foxy Shazam, I Like It (A really rad Queen sound that drips with sex. Use it to your advantage)

7. Scum Of The Earth, Porn Star Champion (A Rob Zombie sounding tune, but with more of a stripper vibe. In a one night stand situation, chicks want to be dirty and sexy. So fuckin let’em, dude!)

8. Madam Adam, Sex Aint Love (A perfect closing track for both of you. I great reminder that you are there to let off some steam and have some fun, no strings attached.)

Sextion 3: Lets Not Make This Weird

-After you both have had your fun and hopefully said, and done things that you can’t burn from your mind, it’s time to close up shop and be hitting the ol’ dusty trail. These tracks are for your goodbye.

9. Divide The Day, One Night Stand (This is pretty much the deal closer. It’s an obvious rockin statement that you both had a good time, but now its time to move on.)

10. Alice Cooper, Poison (This is where you hopefully can come up with some magic words to go along with this song that says: “you’re hot, we shold do this again”. Wait.. just fuckin say that. Ya, why not a 2 night stand??)

 

Now, go forth and make some bad decisions! Just remember to push play!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *