“Shut up and put this bag over your head!” Those were the first words I heard as I stepped up to enter Rob Zombies “Great American Nightmare“. I haven’t been in any sort of horror house since I was 12. I thought “how disturbing could stepping inside the mind of Rob Zombie actually be?” Real goddamn disturbing…
“If you are easily scared or offended go to a f*cking amusement park.”.
THE LORDS OF SALEM BLACKOUT
The musky black bag covered every last bit of light allowed into the first haunted house based on Rob Zombies Lords Of Salem film. The only thing you were told was to “feel the wall to find your way out”. The only problem was the wall was filled with frightening characters grabbing and scaring the hell out of you the whole way. The total darkness was what really sold it. The entire time the Lords Of Salem song was blaring overhead, and the screams of the groups ahead of you gave prelude to the fact that you were about to be frightened by someone or something, and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it. The anticipation of being scared.. That was the worst part. After making our way through the darkness and handing our black bags back to the staff, it was on to the next haunted house..
THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO 3D
If you have never actually watched the cartoon film, every turn of this haunted house would have thrown you mind right down the rabbit hole. I shouldn’t have been surprised that you entered the Superbeasto experience through a giant vagina, but I was.
As soon as you made it through the “entry” you were given a pair of 3D glasses, and that’s when shit got real. Everything from the paintings on the walls to the costumes on the actors was in 3D. It was almost too much. I kept stopping to touch things to see if it was real or 3D. It was a technicolor acid trip x100. Everything jumped out at you and literally made you feel like you were inside an entire other world. A world filled with sexual imagery and characters only Rob Zombie could imagine. Looking back, I think this haunted house was more entertaining and fun than frightening. That feeling wouldn’t last long though..
HAUNT OF 1000 CORPSES
Rob Zombie saved the best for last. This is where things really got dark. The tour started off in a replica of the Captain Spauldings gas station scene in House Of 1000 Corpses. The whole setup and lighting made you want to take a shower right from the start. It felt grimy and eerie.
Each room was an full on depiction of a real mass murder scene. The detail in every single room was incredible from “Helter Skelter” and “Pig” drawn in fake blood on the wall of the Manson murder scene to Ed Gein chopping up body parts that looked gut sickening real. The character actors hired to portray these grizzly scenes were spot on. Often times they were right in your face portraying their roles with absolute precision.
Throughout the experience scenes from the House Of 1000 Corpses were also introduced. After being pushed and yelled at by an actor playing Baby from the film (who had the laugh down perfectly), you came upon the Dr. Satan scene in real life. I’m not sure if they pulled it right from the movie, but it sure as hell felt like it.
The work and detail that went into every tiny bit of these haunted houses was absolutely outstanding. Every bit of it was designed to make you feel like you were inside the mind of Rob Zombie, and it did just that. I’ve never had so much fun being scared in my whole life.